I've heard and read many things about clinical trials. Unfortunately, most of it has scared the socks off me and made me want to stick my head in the sand and not know anything else about it. Maybe it's the unknowing part, the guessing game part as it appeared to be that gave me cold chills and caused a mild hyper-ventilating state of being to come over me? I'm not sure, but I never intended to be one of those clinical trial guinea pigs and may have even declared that very thing in one of my nightmares some time ago. But as life would have it, things change, we change.. circumstances change.. a few simple words like, " we don't have any other treatment options for you.." coming from my oncologist completely changed my thoughts and especially my hopes for clinical trials! Cancer truly does change EVERYTHING!
Honestly, over the course of this journey and the on going digestion of as much information on the new technology in the cancer world, I had already begun to soften on my opinion of clinical trials. I believe somehow our minds are programmed to immediately reject anything new. Let's stick with the old and the usual and what we've always done. Well, for me sadly, all of those options have been tried and proven themselves obsolete and useless in my fight against this deadly disease that continually finds a way to grow faster and smarter than the good old medicines that we've always used. Medicines, that I might add have not been doing a very good job of healing much less of curing much cancer.
So, if there is a chance of a cure in a medicine that hasn't been discovered yet then sign me up! Actually, I just signed up and recently took my first dose of a very new drug that is not FDA approved but allowed only for investigational purposes. In fact, though it wasn't a completely pleasant experience, it wasn't near as awful as my many weeks of hugging the toilet among other side effects after chemotherapy infusions.
You may be asking, what is a clinical trial all about? Well, I know very little more than you at this point, but the short answer to that question is that it basically is a research study of a drug that involves people. My trial is specifically for people that have NSCLC (non small cell lung cancer)
with a positive EGFR mutation. This is a rare form of lung cancer that mostly targets non-smoking young women, but of course no one is exempt like any cancer.
I don't know how I will respond to this drug, what other issues may arise or if this is the drug that my heart and family long for, but I do know it's part of my fight and I am definitely fighting!
Yes, It's a little scary. I don't know what to expect and there hasn't even been very many before me to receive this drug to be given any kind of list of what to expect. Strong protocols are in place though. This isn't my docs first rodeo by far. My oncologist is keeping a very close eye on me with weekly labs and vitals, monthly testing on specific organs that seem to be sensitive to the medication and of course quarterly scans to get a look into just what those little dark cells of evil are up to. Hopefully they are dying very dramatic and painful deaths nano-dozens at a time even as I'm writing this sentence. I can envision it, can you? If you happen to find yourself in a similar place with not many options and have any questions I'll do my best to answer them.
Im hopeful, I'm continuously prayerful and even if this is only a step to get me somewhere else, I'm at peace and look to my Father in heaven to lead the way. Blessings to you..
"... and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:20
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